yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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