He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
