I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
