coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
if only i could text you this smell
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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