how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
