I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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