You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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