exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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