The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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