I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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