im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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