She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I think I sprained my soul last night
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
