My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
