if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Text me some of your sweat
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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