so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
