Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
