remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
