I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
