it hurts more in the daytime
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
