i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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