We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
did you just send me my own nude
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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