how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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