If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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