i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
