Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
