You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
