And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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