gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
