My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
