They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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