Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
you had me at cake vodka
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
