So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It's just like the Real World with babies
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
