The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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