Can i not drive my cunt home
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Randomize
