He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
