Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize