She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize