Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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