your room smells of hookers.
And success
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
