I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
