So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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