Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
