idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
