the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I believe in your delicious
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
