I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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