I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Watching her eat just hurts me
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
