i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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