He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize