Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
