Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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