saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
