had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
