Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I will be naked everywhere
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
