hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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