i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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