If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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