I am in a vortex of obligation.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
